“People are trapped in history and history is trapped in them.”
Past and our bygone days never leave us. The clock ticks away leaving us with memories and a faint recollection of all the struggles we’ve been through. These struggles are manifestations of who we become and who we are but they all are metal cages that keep us caged. It is very easy to become trapped in the past. Because of the ease, we need to be alert when it comes to take us on a journey.
‘Letting go’ might roll off one’s tongue quite leisurely but it is a daunting task to do. The act of letting go is challenging because it asks us to ‘not engage’ in the past recollections. And for the mind to be settled inch-deep in the mud, it is very hard for it to separate amongst the pains which has made her stronger and which has left her shriveled up.
Worrying about the past, extensively, gets all of our minds muddled up. And this is detrimental for we forget our goal to have a positive attitude and not glare obsessively in to the past; about the argument that happened three years prior, the food we ate last Friday, the unfinished book on our bedside table, and so on and so forth. This never stops. But, it needs to. Right this instant.
How can we stop worrying about our past?
1. Calm yourselves down: When you know, you are delving into the chasm of worrying remind yourselves to stay calm. Keep this mantra on repeat, ‘Don’t worry, be happy fish’, ‘Don’t worry, be happy fish’, ‘Don’t worry, be happy fish’. Yes, it will take days and months but you have to keep at it. Be resilient and don’t give up the fight before it ends.
2. Have a positive attitude: Having a good and a positive outlook helps resolves the greatest and darkest of evils and wall. It helps to protect us and shield us from all the damages that we will be doing to ourselves in our futile hopes of finding answers by looking into the looking glass which transports us back to a particular time. The entire answer key is right in your head. All the struggles and experiences that you had to face gave you the answers that you desperately need.
3. Believe in yourselves: Have a firm stand in your beliefs and expect them to be the guiding light that you want to be for yourselves and others. Believing in yourself, which is believing in the PRESENT self, is the very first step when it comes to letting go of your past.
4. Value the time: If the time made your memories a faint recollection of your past then so it will do to your present. You have to be vary of the sword-wielding power of the Time. It slices up everything and leaves you bereft of yourselves. Time Is Of The Essence!
5. Practice mindfulness: By focusing on only one day, that is today, you can bring a worldly shift in your habit of peeking into the past. This will also makes the ‘letting go’ part easier and have a positive attitude and uplifted outlook towards everything you wish to achieve.
6. Allow yourselves to make mistakes: We are humans. We make mistakes and that is one crucial characteristic that separate us from the robots. They can’t make mistakes but we can. Be gentle with yourselves. Learning from your mistakes makes a person much better than they can ever be without committing mistakes. They get to know themselves in the process.
7. Learn self-care: Start with something that you like then make your self-care routine a place where you are mindful of all the things that happened with you in the past. Allow it to flow like a water and you are just a bystander on the river bed. Know that people won’t always apologize, you won’t always apologize but forgive them and yourself. Forgiveness is imperative when it comes to yourselves.
8. Seek professional help: Talking helps and if you have gone through a pretty painful and excruciating one, it is appropriate to talk with someone who can help you come out of your past. They will help you in letting go of the things which clouds your now.
Our past is a structure we need in our present. It shapes us but it can also be detrimental if we stay in the said foreign country for time longer than necessary. Having a positive attitude helps in letting go of the emotions and memories keeping a hold of us.
It is important to not allow anything to take a hold of us. We need to keep reminding this to our little selves.
Make a mantra that you can chant over and over again. Like, ‘Don’t worry, be happy fish’ or ‘Be cool as a cucumber’, or it can simply be ‘Fly high like a bird’. Make it short and fun. Have fun with yourselves. Being hard does too little of a thing and never in the way we wish to be.